Parenting plan mediation in San Diego
Parenting Plan Mediation Built for Real Life
Mary Levin, Co-Parenting Specialist®, helps parents work through the decisions, transitions, and pressure points that shape daily life in two homes—not simply divide the calendar.
Choose focused parenting mediation with Mary, or bring Scott Levin into the process when neutral legal guidance and formal drafting are needed.
2024–2027
More than the minimum terms
A divorce is not just a legal case—and a parenting plan should not just check boxes
“He was fair and respectful to both parties and most of all ensured that our kids would have the best outcome in this very sad breakup of our family.”★★★★★ The P. family · Google review
Many divorce processes reduce parenting discussions to the minimum terms needed for a court order. We intentionally go further. Mary helps parents identify the real-life situations most likely to create resentment, confusion, or repeated arguments—and decide in advance how they will be handled.
The details that protect everyday peace
What your parenting plan can address
For general legal information about parenting plans, see the California Courts Self-Help Guide.
A term worth getting right
Right of first refusal, and the exceptions that make it work
A right of first refusal means that if one parent can’t care for the children during their parenting time, the other parent gets the first chance to step in before a babysitter, relative or anyone else is called.
Done well, it gives children more time with both parents. Done poorly, it turns every work shift, date night or errand into a phone call and a negotiation. Most of the difference comes down to a few choices you make together:
When it applies. Many parents set a minimum, so it only kicks in for longer stretches, such as an overnight or a full day, not a two-hour errand. Others tie it to specific situations, like work travel.
Who is an exception. Parents often agree that certain people can watch the children without the other parent getting a call first. That might be a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, a stepparent or partner, a longtime nanny, or a family friend the children already know well. Some parents name specific people. Others describe a group, such as “immediate family.”
How it works in practice. Who contacts whom, how much notice is given, how quickly the other parent has to answer, and who handles pickup and drop-off if they say yes.
In mediation we start with how your family actually works today: who already helps with the kids, and what each of you wants to protect. Then we test the plan against ordinary weeks, like a work trip, a sick day, a delayed flight or a family dinner that runs past bedtime. If the wording would start an argument in any of those moments, we change it before it goes into your judgment. Mary Levin, Co-Parenting Specialist®, helps parents work through exactly these details.
If this is a sticking point for you, book a free consultation or call 858-293-1410 and we’ll talk it through.
What parents say
Parents who built a plan that fits their family
Reviews from parents who worked with San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law on parenting schedules, communication and decisions about their children.
★★★★★
“He helped us agree on visitation, holidays, schedules, school, medical etc for our children. He came up with great ways for us to communicate regarding the children.”
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Scott has helped me navigate through a very hard time in my life. He was professional in every aspect. He helped us agree on visitation, holidays, schedules, school, medical etc for our children. He came up with great ways for us to communicate regarding the children. It is defiientl worth your time, money and mental health to use Scott as a mediator.
★★★★★
“Scott finds a way to get all the hard button topics out in the open and comes up with solutions to really understand what is best for both parties and most importantly for the kids.”
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Scott and his team are fantastic at providing their clients with a constructive, yet cost-effective way to end a marriage. There are many hard conversations that need to be had during this time. Scott finds a way to get all the hard button topics out in the open and comes up with solutions to really understand what is best for both parties and most importantly for the kids. I would highly recommend San Diego Divorce and Mediation. Thanks Scott!
★★★★★
“He managed to help us find mutually acceptable solution, and at the same ensure that the best interests of our children are fully addressed.”
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We had very positive experience with Scott’s mediation style and approach. He was patient, courteous, and professional. I appreciated his attention to small details and comprehensive discussions on all aspects of the divorce process and settlement agreement. He managed to help us find mutually acceptable solution, and at the same ensure that the best interests of our children are fully addressed. The mediation sessions were very constructive and efficient.
★★★★★
“Having a knowledgeable, neutral party who advocated for both of us as needed (and had the best interest of the children in mind) helped us move forward.”
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I wish we had found Scott much sooner in our divorce process. After 1.5 years of dealing with lawyers and the court system, with no progress at all (and lots of money spent), we were referred to Scott. He patiently listened to both sides and negotiated compromises that helped us agree on a settlement. Having a knowledgeable, neutral party who advocated for both of us as needed (and had the best interest of the children in mind) helped us move forward. I am truly thankful.
Reviews describe individual clients’ experiences. Every family’s situation is different, and results vary.
Parenting mediation at different stages
You do not need to be in a traditional divorce
We work with parents who are establishing their first court orders, revisiting an existing plan, or responding to circumstances that require greater care and specificity.
Unmarried co-parents
Unmarried parents still use a court case to obtain enforceable orders, but it is generally a parentage and custody matter—not a divorce. If legal parentage has not already been established, that must also be addressed.
Mediation can resolve the children-related issues together:
- Legal and physical custody
- The regular, holiday, vacation, and travel schedules
- California guideline child support
- Health insurance and uninsured medical costs
- Childcare, activities, school costs, and other child-related expenses
Already divorced or separated parents
A parenting plan that once worked may stop fitting when children grow, schools change, work schedules shift, a parent relocates, or the same disagreement keeps resurfacing.
Parents can mediate the disputed terms without reopening every part of their divorce. When an agreement is reached, Scott can prepare the updated stipulation and proposed order for submission to the court. In many agreed matters, the judge can approve the revised terms without either parent appearing for a contested hearing.
Learn about post-divorce mediation for updating parenting arrangements.
California Courts: make an agreement a court orderSafety and continued connection
Parenting plans when substance use or addiction is a concern
When a parent is struggling with alcohol or drugs, the answer does not always have to be either unrestricted parenting time or no relationship at all. When mediation is safe and appropriate, parents can build a plan that protects the child while creating a realistic path for the parent-child relationship to continue.
California courts consider habitual or continual illegal drug use, alcohol abuse, and abuse of prescribed controlled substances when deciding a child’s best interests. The exact safeguards should therefore match the history, current risk, treatment progress, and child’s needs—not a generic formula.
California Family Code § 3011A carefully structured plan may address:
- Testing or remote alcohol monitoring
- No use before or during parenting time
- Sober and reliable transportation
- Supervised visits or protected exchanges
- Treatment participation and recovery support
- Clear responses to a missed or positive test
- Step-up parenting time tied to objective milestones
- Emergency contacts and temporary backup care
Mediation is not appropriate when immediate danger, coercion, or an inability to participate voluntarily prevents a safe process. Emergency and child-safety concerns may require court or professional intervention.
Choose the level of support you need
Mary-led parenting mediation or Scott and Mary together
Mary and Scott are neutral mediators. They do not represent either parent. Either parent may obtain independent legal advice before signing an agreement.
Professional expertise, human perspective
Meet Mary and Scott Levin
Mary and Scott are a married co-mediation team and parents of three. They understand that a parenting agreement cannot be designed in the abstract. It has to work around school mornings, changing work demands, children’s activities, holidays, family traditions, and the emotions that come with reorganizing a family.
Mary focuses deeply on how the family will function after separation. Scott, a California attorney since 2004 and a Certified Mediator through Mediate.com, prepares the legal language when that service is needed.
Together, they help parents move from broad promises—“we will be flexible” or “we will decide together”—to agreements that explain what those intentions mean when a difficult moment arrives.
How it works
Thoughtful without becoming unnecessarily complicated
Common questions
Parenting plan mediation FAQs
What is included in a parenting plan?
A detailed plan can address the regular schedule, holidays, vacations, transportation, childcare, parent-child communication, school and medical decisions, activities, travel, schedule changes, and a process for resolving future disagreements.
Can Mary mediate our parenting plan without a full divorce mediation?
Yes. Parents may work with Mary on parenting and co-parenting issues as a focused service. If neutral legal information, formal drafting, court filing, or broader family-law issues are needed, Scott can participate as an attorney-mediator.
Can a parenting plan be flexible?
Yes. A plan can combine a reliable base schedule with agreed flexibility. The goal is enough detail to reduce confusion without making normal family life unnecessarily rigid.
What if we agree on most things but not everything?
That is a good use of mediation. We can preserve what is already working, focus on the remaining issues, and compare practical options without reopening every decision.
Can a parenting plan be changed later?
Yes. Parents can return to mediation as children grow or circumstances change. If the current plan is a court order, an agreed revision generally must be submitted to the court to become enforceable.
Can unmarried parents use parenting plan mediation?
Yes. Unmarried parents can mediate custody, parenting time, child support, health insurance, childcare, and other child-related expenses. If legal parentage has not been established, that must also be addressed through California’s parentage process.
Can divorced parents modify custody without returning to court for a hearing?
Often, yes. Parents can mediate agreed changes, and Scott can generally prepare the updated stipulation and proposed order for a judge’s approval without a contested hearing, subject to court requirements.
Can a parenting plan address substance use or addiction?
Yes, when both parents can participate safely and voluntarily. A plan may use safeguards such as testing, supervised parenting time, sober transportation, treatment milestones, step-up schedules, and clear responses to a missed or positive test while preserving a safe parent-child relationship.
What should a military parenting plan address?
A military parenting plan can address duty schedules, temporary duty, deployment, leave, virtual contact, transportation, advance notice, temporary schedule changes, and how the prior schedule resumes when the service member returns.
What if we live far apart, or one of us may move?
A long-distance plan usually gives the children one home during the school year and longer time with the other parent during summers, school breaks and holidays. It should also cover who travels with younger children, how travel costs are shared, where exchanges happen, and regular video contact between visits. If a parent is considering a move with the children, check the current order first. Some orders require advance notice, and a move that would interfere with the current parenting schedule generally needs the written agreement of the other parent or a court order, especially when parents share physical custody. If you live in different states, raise it early, because which state can decide custody depends on where the children have lived and where any existing order was made.
Can the plan address expenses that child support does not cover?
Yes. Parents can discuss childcare, activities, camps, medical expenses, school costs, approval procedures, reimbursement deadlines, and related practical details. Scott can participate if broader financial or legal issues are part of the engagement.
“He was great at posing questions about custody and finances that we hadn’t thought of. He made the process so easy.”
— Christina G., Google reviewBuild the plan your family will actually live with
A free 15-minute call is the easiest way to learn whether Mary-led parenting mediation or co-mediation is the better fit.