How Divorce Mediation Works, From the First Conversation to the Final Judgment
You do not need to have everything figured out before mediation begins. You need a willingness to share the necessary information, hear each other’s concerns and consider workable solutions.
Scott Levin provides the legal and financial structure. When parenting issues are central, Mary Levin brings focused co-parenting expertise. Together they help you move through each decision in order, without turning your divorce into a court battle.
Written and reviewed by Scott Levin, Esq., CDFA® · California State Bar No. 234458 · Updated September 2026
Mediation Is Structured, Not a Series of Unplanned Conversations
Scott organizes the process so you are not trying to resolve property, support, parenting and future finances all at once. Each issue is addressed in a sensible order, with the legal framework and financial information in front of you before you are asked to decide.
The Divorce Mediation Process, Step by Step
Every family is different, and these steps can be adjusted to fit yours — as long as both spouses agree to the change and understand what it means for the process.
Start with a free 15-minute consultation
You explain where things stand, ask how mediation works and learn whether it looks like the right fit. Scott explains his neutral role, how the flat fee works and what would happen next.
Scott prefers to meet with both spouses together, so you both hear the same information at the same time. If you both know about it and would rather speak separately, that can be arranged.
This is not a pressure-filled strategy session. It is a chance to hear the same information together and decide whether the fit feels right.
Sign the agreement to mediate and set the ground rules
If you both decide to proceed, you sign an agreement covering confidentiality, neutrality, the flat fee and what each of you can expect from the other. In mediation Scott does not represent either of you, and each of you remains free to get independent legal advice at any point.
Meet individually before the joint sessions begin
Scott generally meets separately with each of you for a kickoff meeting. Each person gets equal time to explain concerns, ask questions and raise anything that needs special care.
An individual meeting does not make Scott either person’s lawyer. The same neutrality and ground rules apply.
Build a complete and reliable financial picture
Meaningful negotiation cannot happen while either of you is guessing about income, property or debt. Scott helps you organize the information and identify what is missing.
- Income and household expenses
- Bank and investment accounts
- Retirement plans and pensions
- Real estate and mortgages
- Businesses and professional practices
- Stock options and restricted stock
- Loans and other debts
- Insurance, taxes and benefits
California requires financial disclosures even when spouses mediate, and mediation depends on voluntary transparency. If either of you believes the other intends to hide assets or refuse meaningful disclosure, private mediation may not be the right process. See how assets are divided in mediation. See which financial documents to gather for mediation.
Create a roadmap for the decisions ahead
Once the basics are on the table, Scott lists every decision that must be made and puts the issues in a workable order. The roadmap may cover the family home, property and debts, parenting, child support and spousal support, insurance, taxes and a way to handle future disagreements.
Work through the decisions in focused sessions
Joint sessions run about 90 minutes and are usually one to two weeks apart, which keeps momentum without rushing you. Scott helps you understand the California legal framework, review financial calculations, identify each person’s priorities and test whether a proposal will work in real life.
When children are involved, Mary can join as a Co-Parenting Specialist® to help parents plan communication, transitions, travel, activities and decision-making. Learn about co-mediation.
Turn your decisions into a complete settlement agreement
After you reach agreement, Scott, a California attorney since 2004, drafts a comprehensive Marital Settlement Agreement customized to your family. It covers the details needed to make your settlement understandable and enforceable, not just the broad ideas you discussed.
You both review the draft and flag any corrections or questions.
Review the agreement, with your own attorney if you choose
Before anyone signs, you each review the complete document, ask questions and request corrections. California law does not require a separate attorney to review it, and you are not giving up the right to one. Many people feel more comfortable having a consulting attorney look at it from their individual perspective.
That attorney’s role differs from Scott’s: Scott stays neutral and cannot advise either of you on what is personally best, while a consulting attorney represents only you. Independent review does not mean mediation has failed. It is an extra safeguard before the agreement becomes final.
Sign, file and complete the uncontested court process
Once you are both comfortable, the documents are signed electronically and submitted with the required judgment paperwork. Scott’s office prepares and handles the court filings through judgment, and most clients do not need to appear before a judge.
California still imposes a minimum waiting period before marital status can end. That does not prevent you from reaching and signing an agreement earlier. If both of you choose, you may also begin following agreed terms before judgment, subject to the terms of your agreement.
Ready to talk through your situation?
Start with a free 15-minute consultation. You will leave knowing what the process would look like for your family.
Two Professionals, One Coordinated Process
Scott Levin, Esq., CDFA® guides the legal and financial work: explaining California law neutrally, analyzing the numbers, drafting your agreement and handling the court filings.
Mary Levin, Co-Parenting Specialist® can join when parenting is central, helping you plan how the family will actually work after separation.
You get one process from the first conversation through judgment, so you are never handed a list of decisions and told to find someone else to finish the job.
What Happens During a Typical 90-Minute Session?
A session is not an argument with a mediator sitting in the middle. It is a working meeting with an agenda.
Scott identifies the decisions for that session, reviews the necessary information and gives each of you time to explain your concerns. You then weigh options against California law, your family’s finances and the practical realities of your lives.
If you reach agreement, it is documented. If more information is needed, Scott tells you exactly what to gather. If an issue is not ready to be decided, it can wait while progress continues elsewhere.
Timing, Cost and Difficult Issues
How long does it take?
Most clients reach and sign a complete settlement within about 10 weeks of starting mediation. That usually means individual kickoff meetings, then roughly five joint sessions of about 90 minutes. California’s mandatory waiting period still controls when marital status can legally end. Complex assets, incomplete disclosure or difficult parenting issues can take longer.
What does it cost?
Mediation is offered for a flat fee, and the fee and everything it includes are explained before mediation begins. Your agreement is drafted by an attorney and we file the court documents for you.
Do we each need a lawyer?
You are not required to hire separate attorneys. Scott can explain the law neutrally, draft the agreement and handle uncontested filings. Either of you may still consult an independent attorney for personal advice or agreement review.
Download a Visual Guide to the Mediation Process
Get a simple, step-by-step overview of what happens after your consultation, from getting organized through completing your settlement and court paperwork.
What happens after your consultation
- Get organized. We identify the issues to resolve and gather the financial information needed to decide well.
- Understand the landscape. You learn the legal framework, the financial picture and your options.
- Work through the decisions. You address each issue step by step and build workable solutions together.
- Build the agreement. Scott organizes your terms into a comprehensive Marital Settlement Agreement.
- Complete the divorce. For uncontested matters, Scott’s office handles the court paperwork through judgment.
What the Process Felt Like for Them
“My (now) ex-husband found Scott through very positive reviews on Yelp. After Scott helped us successfully navigate this difficult time in our lives, I understand why he gets such high ratings. Scott is good at keeping spouses on task. He is thorough in his responses to questions. He is both kind and patient when emotions run over (like in my case, while crying). He made the process very smooth for both of us. I highly recommend Scott as a mediator for divorces.”
KevinMediation Client · Google review
“Divorce is one of the most difficult and emotional experiences a family can go through, and we are incredibly grateful to have had Scott Levin guiding us through the process. From our very first meeting, Scott created an environment that felt respectful, balanced, and solution-focused. He was patient, compassionate to our specific and unique situations and genuinely invested in helping us navigate difficult conversations with clarity and dignity.
Our situation was particularly unique because we had a number of complex financial assets that needed to be carefully evaluated and divided. Throughout the process, Scott’s financial expertise proved invaluable for me. He was able to clearly explain complicated financial concepts, helping both of us understand the implications of different options and ensure that decisions were made thoughtfully and fairly. His ability to navigate both the emotional and financial aspects of divorce with equal skill gave us tremendous confidence during a process that could have otherwise felt overwhelming.
Thanks to his guidance, expertise and calm presence, what could have been an even more highly contentious process became far more manageable that I ever expected. I left mediation feeling respected, informed and confident in the agreements that we reached.
I would wholeheartedly recommend Scott Levin to anyone seeking a knowledgeable, fair and compassionate divorce mediator. His unique combination of interpersonal skill and financial expertise was invaluable and made a lasting difference during one of the most challenging chapters of our lives, and we are deeply thankful for his support.”
JessicaDivorce Mediation Client · Google review
“There is no way that I could have survived the most difficult year of my life without Scott. Not only did Scott skillfully navigate my reluctant and skeptical ex-husband and I through our divorce, but he maintained a high-level of professionalism and patience throughout the entire process. Most importantly, we were able to retain more of our hard-earned money, because using a mediator is a more cost-effective method than hiring separate attorneys. If both spouses are committed to working together to have the best possible divorce, then Scott is the go-to mediator. Overall, Scott is knowledgeable, caring, and will work with both parties to obtain the best possible outcome!”
RhondaMediation Client · Google review
Do We Have to Get Along?
No. Most couples do not seek mediation because communication is going perfectly. You can be hurt, angry, distrustful or uncertain and still mediate.
What matters is whether both people can take part voluntarily, provide complete information, listen to options and decide without intimidation.
When Mediation May Not Fit
Another process may be safer or more effective when:
- There are serious safety concerns or coercive control
- A spouse intends to conceal assets or income
- Meaningful financial disclosure is refused
- Delay is being used as a strategy
- Emergency court orders are needed
Divorce Mediation Process FAQs
Can we begin mediation before either spouse files for divorce?
Yes. Many couples begin mediation before filing so they can coordinate the legal process and avoid unnecessary conflict from the start.
Can we mediate if a divorce case has already been filed?
Yes. Mediation can begin before or after a case is filed, and it can also resolve particular disputes in an existing case.
How long does divorce mediation take?
Most clients reach and sign a complete settlement within about 10 weeks of starting mediation. California’s mandatory waiting period still controls when marital status can legally end. A typical process includes an individual kickoff meeting with each spouse, followed by roughly five joint sessions of about 90 minutes each, usually one to two weeks apart. Complex assets, incomplete disclosure or difficult parenting issues can take longer.
Are mediation sessions confidential?
Private mediation communications and negotiations are generally protected by California’s mediation-confidentiality laws. Documents that existed independently, such as bank statements, and documents ultimately filed with the court are treated differently. Scott explains these boundaries before mediation begins.
Can we mediate online?
Yes. Sessions are available by secure video throughout California, as well as in person in San Diego.
Can we each have our own attorney review the agreement?
Yes. California law does not require separate review counsel, but neither of you gives up the right to independent legal advice before signing. Many people are more comfortable having a consulting attorney review the agreement from their own perspective.
Can mediation handle a high-asset or financially complicated divorce?
Yes, provided both spouses disclose fully and participate in good faith. Scott’s legal and CDFA® background is particularly useful with real estate, retirement plans, businesses, stock compensation and tax-sensitive settlements.
How much does mediation cost?
Mediation is offered for a flat fee. The fee and everything it includes are explained before mediation begins, so you know what to expect.
When does our agreement become enforceable?
The final written agreement is signed and submitted with the judgment paperwork. Once the court approves and enters the judgment, its terms become enforceable court orders.
For general California information, see the California Courts Divorce Self-Help Guide and California’s mediation-confidentiality statutes. Comparing options? Read why families choose mediation over litigation.
Know What Comes Next Before You Begin
The first conversation should leave you both with a clearer understanding of the process, the likely issues and whether mediation fits your family. It is free and takes about 15 minutes. Scott prefers to meet with both spouses together, so you both hear the same information at the same time. If you both know about it and would rather speak separately, that can be arranged.
San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law · 9820 Willow Creek Road, Suite 410 · San Diego, CA 92131
Serving San Diego County and clients throughout California by video.