Private child custody mediation in San Diego
Child Custody Mediation Without Turning Your Family Into a Court Case
Scott Levin, family law attorney-mediator, and Mary Levin, Certified Co-Parenting Specialist™, help parents make legally informed, child-centered decisions—and turn them into a clear written agreement.
The short answer
What is private child custody mediation?
The details that prevent the next dispute
A custody agreement should answer more than “who has which days?”
A durable agreement addresses the handoffs, decisions, boundaries, and changes that tend to create conflict after separation.
Legal custody and major decisions
- Education, medical care, therapy, religion, and activities
- Access to records and notice of appointments or school events
- How parents consult and what happens if they reach an impasse
Physical custody and parenting time
- School days, weekends, summers, holidays, and vacations
- Exact exchange times, locations, transportation, and pickup people
- Temporary, step-up, or age-responsive schedules when appropriate
Communication and boundaries
- Parent-to-parent communication and reasonable response times
- Phone or video contact with the children
- Travel, passports, privacy, social media, and new partners
Changes and future disagreements
- Work-schedule changes, childcare, late arrivals, and missed time
- How temporary changes are requested and documented
- A process for returning to mediation before returning to court
One agreement, two professional lenses
Legal clarity and co-parenting expertise belong in the same conversation
Custody is both a legal issue and a family-life issue. Treating it as only one or the other can leave important gaps.
Scott and Mary serve as neutral mediators. They do not represent either parent or provide either person with individual legal advice.
Two very different settings
Private mediation is not San Diego Family Court Services
When custody or visitation is disputed in a California case, the court generally requires mediation before a contested hearing. San Diego Family Court Services calls this Child Custody Recommending Counseling.
Private mediation gives parents more time, more control over the pace, and the ability to work through details that may not fit into a single court appointment.
Official resources: San Diego Superior Court Family Court Services and California Courts Self-Help.
| Private mediation | San Diego FCS | |
|---|---|---|
| Who chooses | Parents jointly select the mediator | The court assigns the counselor |
| Time and pace | Flexible; multiple sessions if useful | A court appointment with limited time |
| If no agreement | The mediator does not decide; parents choose their next step | A recommendation may be made to the judge |
| Scope | Detailed custody and parenting provisions; related issues when agreed | Custody and visitation issues connected to the hearing |
A calm, structured process
From disagreement to a written plan
What clients say
Calm matters when the decisions are this personal
“He was fair and respectful to both parties and most of all ensured that our kids would have the best outcome in this very sad breakup of our family.”
— The B., Google Review
“Scott is truly dedicated to the best outcome for the family of his clients. He really does a great job of helping set up a successful life after marriage.”
— Chad H., Google Review
“Scott has helped me navigate through a very hard time in my life. He was professional in every aspect. He helped us agree on visitation, holidays, schedules, school, medical etc for our children. He came up with great ways for us to communicate regarding the children. It is definitely worth your time, money and mental health to use Mary and Scott as mediators.”
— Natasha Dean, Google Review
Common questions
Child custody mediation FAQs
Is custody mediation required in San Diego?
When custody or visitation is disputed in a San Diego family court case, parents generally must participate in Child Custody Recommending Counseling before the hearing. Parents may separately choose private mediation to try to reach an agreement with more time and flexibility.
What is the difference between legal and physical custody?
Legal custody concerns responsibility for major decisions involving a child’s health, education, and welfare. Physical custody concerns where the child lives, parenting time, and day-to-day care.
Can one attorney represent both parents?
No. Scott is a neutral attorney-mediator and does not represent either parent. He can provide neutral legal information and draft the agreement. Either parent may consult an independent attorney for individual legal advice.
Can mediation work if we barely communicate?
Often, yes. Structured agendas, separate meetings when appropriate, and detailed communication rules can make negotiation more manageable. Suitability depends on whether both parents can participate safely and voluntarily.
Can we resolve only custody without mediating our entire divorce?
Yes. Parents can use focused mediation for custody and parenting issues. If you want to address support or the rest of the divorce, those services can be added by agreement.
Can an agreement become a court order?
Yes. After both parents sign and the judge approves the agreement, it can become an enforceable custody order.
Can an existing custody order be changed?
Parents can use mediation to update a plan when work, school, developmental needs, relocation, or other circumstances change. An agreed modification generally must be submitted to the court to become enforceable.
Kind words
What our clients say
Scott is truly dedicated to the best outcome for the family of his clients. He really does a great job of helping set up a successful life after marriage for all parties involved. Highly recommend.
Divorce is incredibly difficult, both emotionally and mentally, but I am so grateful for the support and guidance I received throughout this process. My mediator was not only thoughtful and understanding but also incredibly fair from start to finish. He made sure both parties…
Divorce is incredibly difficult, both emotionally and mentally, but I am so grateful for the support and guidance I received throughout this process. My mediator was not only thoughtful and understanding but also incredibly fair from start to finish. He made sure both parties felt heard and respected, helping us navigate a challenging time with patience and care. His balanced approach made all the difference, and I truly feel that he facilitated a resolution that was fair and considerate for everyone involved. I highly recommend him to anyone looking for a mediator who is both professional and compassionate.
Your children should not have to live inside the conflict
Let’s create a plan that gives them stability—and gives both parents a clearer way forward.