Parenting and Mediation Library
Books, Films and Tools for Families Going Through Divorce
Some questions need a conversation. Others need a quiet hour with a book, a film you can watch with your kids, or a tool that makes next week a little easier. I put this list together around the questions I hear most often in mediation: how to tell the children, how to make two homes work, what you need to know before dividing property, and when to get advice of your own.
Many of these titles are on the shelf in our office library, where clients can find them.
Books to Read With Children
There is no perfect script for telling a child that life is changing. A story gives them a way to ask questions without feeling they have to protect either parent. Read the book yourself first, then let your child lead.
Young children about ages 3–6
- It's Not Your Fault, Koko BearVicki LanskyA classic starting point. It says plainly what every young child needs to hear: this is not because of you.
- Two HomesClaire MasurelA gentle picture book that shows two homes as a normal, happy fact rather than a loss.
- The Invisible StringPatrice KarstFor the child who worries about being apart from a parent. Not specifically about divorce, which is part of its appeal.
Older children and teens about ages 10–14
- Mom's House, Dad's House for KidsIsolina RicciA practical companion for kids who want to know how two homes actually work, written by the author of the parents' classic.
- Just Another Day in My Insanely Real LifeBarbara DeeA middle-grade novel. Sometimes a story about someone else's family is easier to talk about than your own.
Age ranges are starting points, not rules. What helps one child may not fit another.
Related: our earlier post on telling your children about divorce, and how we help parents build a parenting plan that fits their children rather than a template.
Books for Parents and Adults
I would not hand every family the same stack. Choose the book that speaks to the problem in front of you: what your children are feeling, how to cooperate with a co-parent, or how the process itself works.
Talking with children and co-parenting
- Divorce Book for ParentsVicki LanskyHelping your children cope with divorce and its aftermath.
- The Good DivorceConstance R. Ahrons
- We're Still FamilyConstance R. AhronsWhat grown children have to say about their parents' divorce.
- Helping Your Children Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles WayM. Gary Neuman
- Putting Children FirstJoAnne Pedro-CarrollProven parenting strategies for helping children thrive through divorce.
- Co-Parenting 101Deesha Philyaw and Michael D. ThomasHelping your kids thrive in two households.
- Our Happy DivorceNikki DeBartolo and Benjamin HeldfondA former couple on how ending their marriage brought them closer as co-parents.
- Home Will Never Be the Same AgainCarol R. Hughes and Bruce FredenburgA guide for adult children of gray divorce. Worth reading if your children are grown; they are affected too.
Agreements and the divorce process
- Child Custody: Building Parenting Agreements That WorkMimi Lyster Zemmelman
- Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your LifeSam MarguliesA calm, practical guide to the decisions and conversations ahead, including how to begin a hard one with a spouse.
- Divorce Mediation Answer BookCarol A. Butler and Dolores D. Walker
- Divorce Without CourtKatherine E. StonerA guide to mediation and collaborative divorce.
- Better ApartGabrielle Hartley and Elena BrowerThe radically positive way to separate. A structured approach to separating with more care and intention.
Books can help you frame the right questions. For decisions about your own finances or a proposed settlement, one-on-one legal advice is the better tool.
Films, Online Tools and Local Support
These are run by other organizations; their content and availability can change.
Parenting and local support
- The SPLIT films — short films in which children ages 6–12 describe divorce in their own words. Preview before watching with your child.
- UpToParents — a free, award-winning workshop for separated, divorced and never-married parents. I encourage every separated parent to do the parenting work on this site.
- OurFamilyWizard — a paid app for schedules, messages and shared expenses. Decide together whether a tool like this belongs in your agreement before writing it in.
- Kids' Turn San Diego — local workshops for children and parents coping with family separation.
California courts and finances
- San Diego Superior Court: Family & Children — official forms and services.
- California Courts divorce guide — the statewide overview of the process.
- California Courts parenting plan resources — including plans where safety is a concern.
- California Courts financial disclosures — what a complete picture of income, assets and debts looks like. Every mediated agreement rests on this.
- State Bar of California — look up any California attorney's license and standing.
When your situation needs more
- Military OneSource: military divorce — benefits, legal assistance and support for military families.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: safety planning — if you are afraid of a partner. In immediate danger, call 911. Mediation is not the right starting point for every family, and it is fine to say so on the first call.
Keep Learning With Us
I have written and recorded longer answers to the issues that come up again and again. Good places to continue:
- Divorce mediation FAQs — process, cost, parenting, property and when to get individual advice.
- How our mediation process works — from the first call to the signed agreement and court paperwork.
- Co-mediation with Scott and Mary Levin — legal and financial guidance alongside co-parenting and communication support, in the same room.
- Parenting plans, with psychologist Linda Altes, Ph.D. — a longer conversation about children, schedules and what to weigh before choosing one.
- What happens to the house? — sale, buyout or continued co-ownership, and the questions couples weigh in each case.
- California child support FAQs — how guideline support is calculated and what can change it.
- A consulting-attorney case study — what individual advice can look like when you are mediating elsewhere. One client's result, not a prediction of yours.
- Videos and webinars — hear me walk through mediation and the common divorce decisions.
Have a question a book cannot answer?
Tell me where you are in the process and what you are trying to decide. The first 15-minute consultation is free, and we can talk about whether mediation for both of you or individual consulting advice is the right next step.
Scott Levin, Esq., CDFA® · San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law. These resources are educational and are not legal advice for your situation. Book and site recommendations are personal; we receive nothing for listing them.