DIVORCE MEDIATION FAQS

Yes. Private mediation is voluntary, so both of you need to be willing to take part and share financial information honestly. You do not need to agree on the outcome before you start. Working through those differences is the point of mediation.

No. Many couples come to us before anything is filed, and starting in mediation often makes the filing simpler. If a case is already open, mediation can still resolve the issues that remain.

Book a free 15-minute consultation. Scott explains his neutral role, how the flat fee works and what would happen next. If you both decide to go ahead, you sign an agreement to mediate covering confidentiality, neutrality and the fee, and each of you meets with Scott for an individual kickoff meeting. See the full mediation process.

That is a fair question to raise in the consultation. Scott will talk through what is making you hesitant and whether both of you can take part productively. If either of you believes assets will be hidden, or cannot participate safely, a different process may be better.

You cannot require someone to take part in private mediation. You can still learn your options, prepare for a conversation with your spouse, or get advice just for you through Scott's consulting attorney service, which is a separate, one-person engagement.

Often, yes. Your attorneys can advise each of you individually while Scott works with both of you as a neutral mediator. We will discuss how they will be involved so everyone understands the roles.

Watch Scott's short: What if your spouse hires a divorce attorney?

Scott is a California family law attorney and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) who has helped more than 2,500 families through mediation. As your mediator, he can explain how California law applies to the issues you are discussing, run and walk you through support calculations, analyze the home, retirement accounts, a business or stock compensation, and draft your marital settlement agreement. Our office also prepares and files the court paperwork. Scott stays neutral throughout and does not act as either spouse's lawyer.

You may need help turning your decisions into a complete agreement and the required court forms rather than a series of mediation sessions. Our uncontested divorce paperwork service may fit. If important terms are still open, mediation can help first.

After individual kickoff meetings, most couples have roughly five joint sessions of about 90 minutes, usually one to two weeks apart. In each session we work through the decisions you need to make, look at the facts and options, and record what you agree on. Between sessions you can gather documents, think things over and talk with your own advisors.

Watch Scott explain the steps in divorce mediation.

Both. Each spouse has an individual kickoff meeting, most of the work happens in joint sessions, and individual meetings can be added when useful. Scott stays neutral throughout, and we explain at the start how information shared in individual meetings will be handled.

Yes. You can meet at our San Diego office or by Zoom from anywhere in California, and some couples combine the two. Online sessions work the same way as in-person ones.

Generally, yes. Under California Evidence Code section 1119, what is said and written for mediation is confidential and cannot be used as evidence in court, with limited exceptions. Documents that exist on their own, like bank statements, do not become confidential just because you used them in mediation. Your agreement to mediate explains how this works before you begin.

Yes. In co-mediation with Scott and Mary Levin, Scott brings the legal and financial perspective and Mary brings a co-parenting perspective. It is especially helpful when parenting and communication need as much attention as the numbers.

Watch Scott and Mary explain co-mediation.

Scott drafts a custom marital settlement agreement for both of you to review, and our office prepares and files the uncontested court paperwork. You can have your own attorney review the agreement before you sign.

Most couples who reach a complete agreement never attend a courtroom hearing. The court still has to approve the paperwork and sign a judgment to finalize the divorce.

Once you both sign the settlement agreement and the judge signs the judgment that includes it, its terms become an enforceable court order. Ask every question you have before signing, and consider having your own attorney review it.

If parents have a custody case in San Diego Superior Court, they meet with Family Court Services before a hearing on disputed custody issues. If they do not agree there, the counselor makes a written recommendation to the judge. Private mediation is different: you choose the mediator, it covers finances and property as well as parenting, and the mediator does not make recommendations to the judge.

Most clients reach a complete settlement in about 10 weeks. It can be faster or slower depending on how many issues you have, how quickly you exchange financial information, and how much time each of you needs between sessions. The court's timeline for the final judgment is separate.

Your marriage cannot legally end until at least six months after the other spouse is served with the divorce papers or first appears in the case, whichever happens first (Family Code section 2339). You can reach and sign your agreement before then; the waiting period only controls the earliest date you are legally single.

Mediation is offered for a flat fee that covers the sessions specified in your mediation agreement. If you need more sessions than that, each additional session is billed separately at a per-session rate. Scott explains exactly what the flat fee includes, and the additional-session rate, before either of you signs the mediation agreement. Any outside professionals you choose to use, such as an appraiser, are separate.

That is up to the two of you. Many couples pay from joint funds or split the fee, and the arrangement can be part of what you agree on.

Mediation can focus on the issues you have left. If one of you instead wants individual advice on a single question or a review of another mediator's proposal, the hourly consulting attorney service may be a better fit. That is a separate, one-person engagement.

Yes. Mediation lets you design a plan around your children's needs, school routines, holidays, travel and the practical details of two households. We help you turn broad ideas into terms you can actually follow. Learn more about parenting plan mediation.

You do not have to solve every disagreement before you come in. We talk through the children's routines, each parent's concerns and possible schedules. If safety is a concern, tell us before the first joint meeting.

Yes. You do not need to be divorcing to work out a parenting plan and support for your children. The court forms differ from a divorce, so tell us whether you already have a case or order. Read about child custody mediation.

We gather the financial information, run the calculations, test the assumptions behind them, and show how different proposals affect each household. Child support and spousal support follow different rules, and we explain both. Read about child support mediation.

California requires both spouses to fully disclose their income, assets and debts. We explain the disclosure forms and help you organize the information so decisions are made on a complete picture. Mediation cannot work if either person is holding back material information.

Not item by item. California generally requires the community estate to be divided equally overall, and spouses can agree in writing to a different division. The first step is to sort out what is community and what is separate property and what each item is really worth after taxes. Then you can build a division you both understand. Read about property division in mediation.

Yes. As a family law attorney and CDFA®, Scott works through the legal and financial questions together, flags when an appraiser, actuary or tax professional is needed, and compares settlement options. A pension, business or stock award often needs more analysis than its balance suggests. Explore divorce financial consulting.

Yes. This is one of the most common concerns we hear. Full disclosure is required, Scott explains the numbers so both of you understand them, and nothing is final until you are ready to sign. You can also have your own attorney or financial advisor review proposals at any point.

Either of you can end mediation at any time. Many couples resolve most issues and have only one or two left, which can then be negotiated through attorneys or decided by the court. Because Scott served as your neutral mediator, he cannot represent either of you afterward.

Tell us privately before any joint meeting. Mediation depends on both people being able to speak freely and safely. If that is not possible, Scott will tell you, and a different process may be needed. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Yes. Some couples need time to gather information, get an appraisal or simply take a breath. We can schedule around that and pick up where you left off.

You are not required to have one, but you may consult your own attorney at any stage, including before you sign. As your mediator, Scott explains the law and helps you build an agreement, but he cannot advise either spouse as that person's lawyer.

Yes, if there is no conflict. In a separate consulting engagement, Scott can advise one person on the process, prepare them for a session, review a proposal or calculation, or explain a draft agreement, billed by the hour. See how one-on-one consulting works.

No. If Scott or the firm has mediated for you and your spouse, Scott cannot become one spouse's consulting attorney. If he has advised one spouse, he cannot later mediate for both.