How to Counter Narcissism & Bullying During Divorce Process
Scott Levin, Chief Peacekeeper™ shares the ideal way to successfully using divorce mediation with a narcissist and how to combat bullying from your spouse during divorce while controlling costs, and keeping the process moving.
Chief PeaceKeeper™ Scott Levin 0:04
Hey everybody, this is Scott Levin chief peacekeeper™. And I wanted to take a couple of minutes real quick just to kind of talk about a topic that’s been coming up lately in my practice, which is focused on divorce and family mediation. So bullying, obviously a big topic and society for, you know, going back a long way now, but made more prominent with recent activities. But bullying is is an issue that comes up also in divorce, when there’s a dominant personality, and oftentimes the other side might not be as well informed about the finances of the family, prior to the divorce being initiated, that person can oftentimes have a lot of fear about being bullied into a settlement that might not be in their best interests. So when that concern is raised, for folks that come in and consult with me, to learn more about Divorce Mediation, and how mediation can help people through the divorce process, you know, it is a real concern.
And, and a lot of those folks do think that they need to run and engage an attorney, and go into litigation in order to protect themselves. And I’m not saying that that’s a bad idea what I’m saying, what I’d like to say is that, to counter bullying, you want to build a team. And you’ve heard me talk a lot about team building and divorce. So engaging and consulting attorney to represent just you, but on the basis of you pinging them for advice. So this happened in our first mediation session, what do you think about this? Or can you review Scott’s mediation summary that he sent after the first mediation session? Or can you review the draft marital settlement agreement for us, or for me, representing just my perspective, so in mediation, I’m not representing either side, although I’m an attorney, I’m in the middle, I’m trying to get two people to come to terms to an agreement? That’s my goal. And I want that agreement to be fair and equitable. And, and principled. So my role is to accomplish those objectives. But I think that if you can engage a consulting attorney, to help, you know, create your proposal or to talk you through how to counter a proposal or you know, give you advice on a specific issue, that’s a really powerful tool. So mediation, combined with a consulting attorney, and then I always believe that my clients are better off when they jointly or solely engage a certified divorce financial analyst. So that’s a person that, that understands the service specifically understands the finances of divorce, and that person can give you, you know, a pro put all of your financial information into a program tell you what information that you need to get from your spouse, you know, write the email that you can then just copy and paste and send to the mediator and your spouse, you know, to ask for those documents. And then they put that whole financial proposal together for you helping you understand not just your you know, financial needs on day one of the of your new you know, your new reality post-divorce, but that, you know, they’ll do some planning for you as well tax implications, things like that. So, their goal is to help you understand what your financial situation on, on year three will be from the divorce and your five, etc. So, certified divorce financial analyst, whether the group in mediation engages one for the benefit of both of you or you engage one yourself, plus a consulting attorney, in using the mediation process with reality with a strong, experienced mediator, that’s the ideal team. That’s the ideal setup for countering a bullying situation in divorce while at the same time saving a ton of money from avoiding the litigation system. And saving yourself a lot of heartache from you know, two plus year litigated divorce and mediation combined with that team, you could have a settlement a couple of weeks. So bullying is a real factor, it’s an issue. People come to me with it. They expressed that concern. And what I tell them is to build your team and still use mediation because it will be a lifesaver for you in terms of time and money, and, you know, just the reduction of conflict. So better for the soul. All right. Anyway Scott Levin is chief peacekeeper™. Thanks for watching and I look forward to seeing you guys soon. Bye
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