Temper Your Social Media To Help Achieve A Successful Divorce – San Diego Divorce Mediation
Using Social Media During Divorce
To Succeed With Divorce Mediation, Temper Your Social Media While Going Through A Divorce
Most of us routinely visit and post to Facebook, Instagram, and other social media sites. Typically, posting a fun family photo can be no problem. But when going through a divorce, these posts can have an impact on your situation and can be used as evidence affecting spousal and child support and property and asset division.
A recent study published in the “Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking,” found that people who use Facebook more than once an hour are more likely to “experience Facebook-related conflict with their romantic partners.” Because of the connectivity social sites produce, if you’re going through a divorce, you can be certain your spouse is going to comb through your online life.
How Social Media Can Affect Your Divorce
We advise clients to exercise serious discretion and to think about the content of their posts before they become public. Divorce can place you under a microscope, even if you are being smart by avoiding litigation and in turn not having to deal with an aggressive family law attorney in San Diego representing your spouse but instead opting for an amicable mediation divorce process.
In fact, according to a survey from the American Association of Matrimony Lawyers, two-thirds of American lawyers use Facebook as a primary source of evidence in divorce cases. And so not only could you upset your spouse and his or her family and friends with the social media activity which will inevitably be seen and reacted to, but it is likely will be reviewed and weaponized by opposing counsel in a contested divorce.
Any action that may upset your spouse and/or his/her family and friends is a potential landmine. The more that you conduct your business in a way that limits the animosity between you and your spouse, the more likely it is that your divorce will proceed in a smoother, faster, and less expensive manner.
What can Social Media Prove?
In terms of less typical posts that paint a picture of your spouse as unfaithful or untrustworthy, these posts are particularly troublesome. You need to be concerned about your family unit and the ability of your family to continue earning income.
Statements that question your spouse’s integrity can definitely impact your divorce and you should really refrain. It quite simply isn’t helpful to the long-term health of the dissolving family unit.
Impact of Social Media on Child Custody
Child custody mediation in California as well as custody in litigated cases determines how much time each parent has with the child is based on what is in the best interest of the child. In a contested litigation scenario, the court certainly assesses parenting skills and for example may consider a parent’s posting photos showing them partying and drinking alcohol during the time they have custody as evidence of poor parenting.
To avoid having your photos and posts used against you to restrict parenting time with your children, it’s best to stay off of social media. Of course this doesn’t apply to your posting about your wonderful parenting skills and fun times with the kiddos.
Being Tagged By Friends Can Affect Custody
It’s not uncommon for friends to tag us in photos when out to dinner or at parties. But this too can impact custody whether you are in court or working more collaboratively to create your parenting plan in divorce mediation.
Imagine that you have custody of your child and during this time, you go out with friends and someone checks you in at the bar or restaurant. Later that night, another posts a harmless photo that shows a bunch of empty glasses and drinks.
Being checked in or included in photos may raise a question about your commitment to parenting and if you are eager to have your child on these days, then why are you out partying.
Nasty Posts About Your Spouse Make Settlement More Difficult
Posting negative comments can drive up the costs of the divorce by making the other side more angry and less trusting. And if there is a custody issue, you will not be looked upon favorably if you are on social media badmouthing the other parent. If you’re doing it on social, perhaps it could be presumed you also are doing it in front of the child which is a huge problem for you.
Respectful Communication For Co-Parenting Success
In mediation, we will encourage you to treat each other with respect in all your communications with each other and within your community. Bad mouthing your spouse on social media or at your kid’s schools or elsewhere in the community will only impair your divorce. Using good judgment and thinking twice before posting anything on social media is important.
You can read some of our favored divorce books and resources in our divorce and mediation library. We want to help both parties move forward and if you would like to discuss your particular situation in a free consultation, please call 858-255-1321 or email scottlevinmediation@gmail.com.
