SAN DEIGO DIVORCE MEDIATION & FAMILY LAW
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Divorce mediation is a way to end your marriage without fighting in court. You and your spouse work with a friendly, neutral person called a mediator. This mediator helps you make decisions about your divorce together. It’s like having a helpful guide to lead you through the process. You and your spouse hire an impartial mediator to negotiate a mutually agreeable settlement to avoid the unnecessary stress, conflict, delays and expense of traditional litigation. Mediation allows our clients to control the time, cost and outcome of their divorce process.

Mediation is usually faster, cheaper, and less stressful than going to court. In court, a judge makes decisions for you. But in mediation, you and your spouse make the choices. This means you have more control over what happens. Also, mediation is private, while court cases are public.

At our firm, 90% of our clients complete the mediation work within two months; however, the time it takes depends on your situation. Some couples finish in just a few sessions. Others might need a few months. The amount of time you spend in mediation depends on how well you communicate and what issues you need to resolve. The mediation process saves a ton of time instead of going to court and fighting for years.

Not only will you save time, but mediation is also usually much cheaper than going to court. We offer a flat fee pricing structure under $10,000, so that you and your spouse will pay a set amount for the entire divorce mediation. This flat rate mediation service includes all the work needed for us to walk you through from beginning to end. Our clients save hundreds of thousands of dollars by opting for our amicable expert mediation services as opposed to relying on litigators and court battles to divorce.

Typically, the parties involved in the dispute share the costs equally. Many people view this arrangement as fair because both parties benefit from the resolution. However, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, one party may agree to cover all the costs. This could be part of their strategy to encourage the other party to participate in mediation. Another possibility is the payment by third parties, like an insurance company, family member of close friend.

Yes, both of you need to want to try mediation for it to work. If one person doesn’t want to do it, mediation won’t happen. But remember, agreeing to try mediation doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything right away. Mediation can work for many different couples. Even if you and your spouse argue a lot, we can help you communicate better and find solutions.

Before we can discuss your case, it’s important that we schedule an appointment with both spouses being present. An ethical mediator is impartial, and we believe that neutrality is the most important quality we can offer. If a mediator meets with just one party, that allows for an opportunity to become biased. We only meet with both spouses together. It’s important for you to start this journey as a team. Our goal is to be honest and fair from the beginning of our conversation. This ensures integrity for both parties. We want to help you both leave this marriage with kindness and respect, so you can begin your new life in a good way.

It’s easy to start! Just call us to set up a first meeting to start your divorce mediation process. In this meeting, we’ll explain how everything works and answer all your questions. During our free initial consultation, our goal is simply to educate you on the process, options for divorce, and the benefits of mediation, including how litigation would differ dramatically in time, expense, and heartache on you and the family. We will communicate the differences between litigation and mediation and the benefits of a peaceful transition. But neither spouse needs to know in advance of that consultation if they want to mediate or not; they just need to be willing to learn and understand the options.

Court-ordered mediation is a mandatory mediation session ordered by a judge during a divorce proceeding. Judges will order if your case gets far enough along that trial is looming. It typically occurs well into litigation after the parties have lost significant money and time. It lasts less than an hour, and the parties have no choice in picking the mediator, as the Court will schedule whoever is available without consideration.. At the end of court-ordered mediation, the court-selected mediator will provide a written report to the judge to explain the progress of the case. There is no follow-up or continued discussion with this mediator, as the parties will have only the hour with them. Private mediation typically is done as the first step when parties decide to divorce, so these parties have the opportunity to save time, money, and emotional harm. Couples who participate in private mediation will address all aspects of their divorce, and the entire process is confidential and controlled by the parties. The mediation sessions in our office last 90 minutes and are scheduled weekly, so the parties have time between meetings to research, consult with advisors, and do any homework assignments. The parties also choose the mediator, and so they will agree on someone they each feel comfortable speaking to and believe that this person has their best interests in mind. The mediator will also handle all the Court paperwork and drafting and filing of documentation and agreements, so that you never have to go to Court. Simply review and sign all the documents as opposed to creating and drafting them yourselves. Simply stated, this process is much healthier than the abruptness of Court-ordered mediation.

The main difference is that a divorce is permanent, whereas a legal separation is temporary and can be reversed. At the end of your divorce, you are legally single and able to remarry or conduct your life as you desire. A legal separation alternatively does not terminate your marriage status, and so you remain legally married and not able to marry another person. The same exact set of issues must be addressed in legal separation as in a divorce, and so a legal separation is not an easier or different process in any way. Legal separation is most often appropriate where there is a religious reason to not divorce, or if there is a chance that the parties will get back together but desire in the meantime to agree on how to separate their assets and debts. Both parties must also agree to pursue a legal separation. If the responding party wishes to pursue a divorce rather than a legal separation, the moving party does not have a choice..

Mediation is often better for kids. You and your spouse will make a parenting plan together. This plan will cover things like where the kids will live, when they’ll see each parent, and how you’ll make big decisions about them. Mediators help parents focus on what’s best for the kids.

Our attorney mediator is also a leading Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and so we can help you and your spouse fairly settle divorce in the smartest and most tax efficient way. The first step is to identify all your property and to figure out what’s in the pool and what’s outside of the pool. Anything inside the pool is community property to be split evenly, and if there are items outside the pool, those will be kept by the owner as separate property. Community property is all the property that you and your spouse acquired through labor or skill during the marriage. Each spouse owns half of the community property. This is true even if only one spouse worked outside of the home during the marriage, and even if the property is in only one spouse’s name. With few exceptions, debts incurred during the marriage are community debts as well. This includes credit card bills, even if the card is in your name only. Student loans are an exception and are most often considered the separate property debt of the person taking the loans, although there are exceptions to this as well. Community property possessions and debts are divided equally unless you and your spouse agree to an unequal division-or unless there are more debts than assets. Separate property is property acquired before your marriage, including rents or profits received from these items; property received after the date of your separation with your separate earnings; inheritances that were received either before or during the marriage; and gifts to you alone, not you and your spouse. Separate property is not divided during dissolution. If you have separate property that has been mixed with community property, it can be difficult to untangle; however, you are still entitled to receive your separate property back even if it has been mixed. There are complex tracing requirements where property has been mixed. Debts incurred before your marriage or after your separation are considered your separate property debts as well.

After you and your spouse agree on everything, your mediator will write up your agreement. You’ll both review it to make sure it’s correct. Then, it gets filed with the court to become a legal divorce agreement.

You don’t have to hire lawyers for the whole process if you use mediation, butt our clients sometimes hire a consulting attorney to get advice and guidance. Some clients seek out advice from their attorneys throughout the entire mediation process, whereas others wait until we’ve drafted a settlement agreement to meet and review the final Marital Settlement Agreement before signing it.

Once a divorce is filed and served, there are temporary restraining orders (rules prohibiting both of you from doing certain things) that go into effect automatically at that time. These “ATROS” are on the reverse side of the Summons form and cover protections regarding minor children, insurance, property, and instruments that transfer property at death. For example, neither of you will be allowed to take your minor children out of state without the other spouse’s written permission or a court order. Nor will either of you, in most instances, be allowed to cancel or change the beneficiaries on your insurance policies or transfer property. Also, you will be required to notify your spouse before any out-of-the-ordinary spending.

To file your divorce, either one of the spouses must have lived in the State of California for six months and lived in the county for three months. In all cases, your marital status cannot be terminated any earlier than six months after your spouse is served with the divorce papers. So while in mediation, all the work of your divorce may be done after just a week or few weeks. The marital status cannot terminate earlier than this six month period. The fees paid up until and including the dismissal of the case are non-refundable. If we have sessions left, then we will prorate the cost.

If you and your spouse reconcile and no longer want to divorce or legally separate, you can request to dismiss your family law case at any time before the actual commencement of trial. However, any filing fees paid to the Court for filing the Dissolution Petition or Response cannot be recovered.

Divorce is a complex legal process that requires expertise. People posing as “non-attorney divorce mediators” may have completed a three-day mediation course, and they claim to be family and divorce law experts. Interestingly, they often charge the same or more than licensed family and divorce law attorneys. Stay informed and protect your interests by choosing a licensed professional for your divorce mediation. Scott Levin teaches California community property to law school students and is a parenting and finance divorce expert.

No! Our firm will draft and file all the court papers and prepare your Marital Settlement Agreement. You will not need to fill out the forms or you will never go to Court. We walk you through the entire California divorce process until the very end when the judge issues your Divorce Decree finalizing your divorce.

Our expert uncontested divorce lawyer and paralegal will complete all the divorce drafting and filings in just weeks. The timeline for completion will depend on your preference. To complete the divorce without court process in California, we help you and your spouse by making the divorce process easy and affordable. If you and your spouse both agree on an uncontested divorce, call us to learn how we can help complete all the work in weeks.