Divorce After 35 Years: A Mediation Case Study
Divorce After 35 Years, and a Grandchild to Celebrate Together
Kim and Todd wanted opposite things: one wanted to stay financially tied together, the other wanted a clean separation. Mediation helped them separate with respect and keep the family close.
Where Kim and Todd were
Kim and Todd are in their mid-50s and had been married for more than 35 years. They have four grown children, two homes and several significant assets. They wanted to divorce without ending up in a fight between attorneys.
They wanted opposite things
Kim lived in the former family home. Todd had bought a separate property. Both of them were on the title and the loan for each home.
- Todd wanted to keep everything co-owned, continue making joint deposits into joint accounts, and decide later how to untangle it all.
- Kim wanted complete financial separation and spousal support.
They couldn’t both have their way, and after 35 years neither wanted the divorce to become a fight.
How Scott helped
Scott began by making the choice visible. He used a whiteboard to show the pros and cons of staying financially connected versus separating, so the decision became a comparison both of them could see instead of an argument.
Kim said what she needed
During that discussion, Kim shared that after decades of caring for their children and putting Todd’s business first, she wanted to be the priority in her own life.
Then the planning started
Once they agreed to separate their finances, Scott crafted tax-efficient options for dividing the property, so they would keep as much of their money as possible.
The agreement
- Each of them keeps their own home.
- The difference in home equity is credited to Todd from the brokerage accounts, and the remainder is divided equally.
- Kim’s spousal support was set using a realistic cost-of-living analysis, so the number reflected real life.
How it turned out
At the end of their final session, Kim and Todd embraced.
Later, Scott received a text with a photo of the two of them with their newborn grandchild. They wrote that they could only enjoy the birth of their first grandbaby together, with love, because of his efforts.
What matters most in a long marriage
After decades together, the goal isn’t to win. It’s to end the marriage in a way that lets you show up at the next birthday, graduation and birth as family.
“Scott Levin helped my husband and I go through the divorce mediation process without ending up with attorneys. He helped change around our marital settlement agreement several times to fit our needs. The process with Scott was quick and efficient. He cared about our present and futures and we felt informed and confident in the decisions we were making because of the simple and clear explanations he provided to our questions and concerns. I would definitely recommend Scott for divorce mediation services.”PAST MEDIATION CLIENT
Ending a long marriage with respect
If you’ve been together for decades, you probably want to protect both your family and your finances. Mediation is built for that. Start with a consultation.
Scott Levin, Esq., CDFA® is a California family law attorney, neutral mediator and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst in San Diego. He helps couples across California, in person and online.
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Names changed for privacy. General information only, not legal, tax or financial advice; results vary. Scott serves as a neutral mediator and does not represent either spouse. Last updated September 2026.
