Couple Divorce When Husband Comes Out as Gay

Highlights

• Scott Levin mediated the separation of a couple in their mid 50s and were together for more than 35 years. The divorce was precipitated by the husband coming out as gay. The couple have four grown children, two homes and several assets.
• The husband wanted to keep their financials together with joint decision making on expenses and income deposits in shared accounts. The wife wanted to a complete separation, financially, and asked for spousal support. 
• Scott worked with the couple and guided them through emotional conversations to create a settlement agreement that respected their goals and was fair to each person.

Case Details

Kim and Todd* shared the goal of a private confidential process to reach a settlement but had very different perspectives of what that separation agreement looks like. Kim lived in the former family home they both co-owned, while Todd purchased a separate property. They were both on the title and loan of each home. Todd wanted to co-own all their property together and make decisions in the future as to when and how to untangle. He also wanted to continue jointly depositing each of their incomes into joint accounts, while Kim wanted to separate financial ties by dividing all the accounts and assets equally. Scott helped Kim and Todd identity the positive and negative impacts of both the co-ownership and separation of assets. Using a white board, he visually helped the couple understand how the two options differ and how each of their futures are impacted depending on which option is pursued. 

Through the course of their mediation, Kim felt comfortable sharing how she wants to be the priority in her own life after decades of being the one taking care of the children and putting Todd’s business and life first. She insisted that financially uncoupling is the way to accomplish this. Once they agree to separate finances, Scott helps them understand and craft tax-efficient options for property division, so they no longer co-own any assets. 

Results

Kim and Todd keep their respective homes and the difference in equity is accounted for and credited to Todd in the division of their brokerage accounts. The remainder of their assets were divided equally. Spousal support for Kim is determined based on a realistic cost of living analysis. Both Kim and Todd feel heard and respected, and at the end of the mediation process, give each other a warm embrace as they move on their next life chapters. 

Not long after their divorce, Scott received a text from Kim and Todd with a photo of them and their newborn grandchild. They told Scott they could only experience the joy of the birth of their first grandbaby together with love because of his efforts. 

“Scott Levin helped my husband and I go through the divorce mediation process without ending up with attorneys. He helped change around our marital settlement agreement several times to fit our needs. The process with Scott was quick and efficient. He cared about our present and futures and we felt informed and confident in the decisions we were making because of the simple and clear explanations he provided to our questions and concerns. I would definitely recommend Scott for divorce mediation services.”

*Names changed